I was born without five of my permanent adult teeth but due to unfortunate circumstances I would begin my teen years missing six teeth. 

I joke that I was thirteen going on eighty. Because, truly, I had gaps in my smile not only from the need for braces but because there were vacant places teeth should have filled.

In the beginning, this made me painfully embarrassed. I would rarely smile with teeth and when I  had to laugh I would try to cover my mouth to hide. 

After getting quotes for how much it would cost to recover my smile and get permanent implants, my mom had informed me that this may be something I deal with for several years to a decade before they could afford what it entailed. 

I was devastated. My self esteem was extremely low and I couldn’t get the image of the old lady in Snow White out of my head. The reality is that when you go without teeth for years, you loose bone mass and eventually irreparable damage is done to the structure of your face. 

I began to imagine my life with an exterior image that was aged long before its time. I wondered how I would find a life partner and have the kids I so deeply desired. 

I am forever grateful that my parents decided to cover the costs of my dental work and the process took place over several years. It would include several surgeries that entailed wisdom teeth removal, multiple bone grafting procedures, and implant placement surgeries. This would have to be after braces and retainers with false teeth. Lastly, several painful temp placement appointments before it was over. 

The reality is that I will never have a perfect smile and I will likely have to revisit this situation again at some point because the fake teeth have a “shelf life”. But, I say all this to hopefully paint the picture of what I was in the middle of when I began to share my insecurities with a close friend in high school. 

I told her that my smile and lack of teeth was my greatest insecurity and that I did not feel as if I could be found beautiful to a boy—in the current day or in the future. 

That is when she said the words that would stick with me up until the very moment I type this. 

She said “It’s not the teeth that make the smile, it’s the person”. 

Suddenly, my perspective shifted and the clouds seemed to part a bit. Maybe, it wasn’t the perfect smile that would make me beautiful to someone, maybe it would simply be me. Maybe if this friend could see me despite these very apparent flaws and tell me she finds me pretty—a man could too one day. Maybe some people didn’t really notice my dental dilemma and actually saw me….

This friend probably doesn’t even remember saying this to me. Considering we have since fallen out of touch, she may never know how much these words meant to me and how they helped me get to the finish line in my dental journey. Not to mention, they helped me gain a bit of confidence to smile again, laugh without covering up, and focus less on my self and my insecurities.

Maybe she will read this one day, but regardless, she has taught me a very important lesson that I hope to pass on to you. 

No matter how small or insignificant it may seem. Don’t talk yourself out of saying something nice. Don’t let kind words flare up and fade in your mind without being shared. Don’t think someone is too confident to need encouragement. Don’t think someone is too perfect and pretty to need a compliment. 

We never know what someone may be dealing with behind the scenes. To be honest, people who knew me may have never even noticed my horrid dental situation. We are all our own worst critics right? But, I knew, and the journey I was on was painful. 

Dental surgery is not as difficult or “important” as most other surgeries and so it felt inconsequential, despite the recovery I was having to endure. Not to mention, some may have even seen it as strictly cosmetic, even though I knew the truth about the consequences of leaving my situation alone. 

The verse that comes to mind when I reflect on this story is Proverbs 25:11 “A word spoken at the right time is like gold apples in silver settings”. These words had immense value in my life. They were spoken at just the right time and because she decided not to hinder God’s working through her, I was forever blessed. 

Therein lies the lesson—be an encouragement as often as you can.

I can assure you, it is not the devil that wishes you would uplift a brother or sister. Do not let your apples wither, but place them in settings of silver. Leave them everywhere you go, in the hearts of your fellow man. It makes everyone around you richer.