Is biblical womanhood about always having a massive breakfast ready when your family comes down in the morning? 

Is biblical womanhood about a well organized, well kept, minimal household that runs like a business? 

Is biblical womanhood about finding a husband so you can quickly become a stay at home mom and homeschool some children? 

I have heard all of this, and more, in conversations surrounding biblical womanhood and motherhood. I mean would you believe me if I told you I was even encouraged by an authority figure to wake up before my husband in order to put my makeup on so he opens his eyes to me in my most “put together” form….what am I supposed to do when I sleep past my alarm, when I am throwing up in my first trimester or (heaven forbid) I run out of my products? I mean, one day the facade will have to end, right? 

Of course, I am being facetious. However, I am pretty certain my teacher was not. 

Today, in 2025, the homemaker movement has taken root in our culture. It is a movement made up of women that stay at home, usually wear dresses, make food from scratch, clean their houses top to bottom, have lots of babies, live on some land, homeschool their kids, and don’t like to mention that while they tout the idea that women should be at home and not in the workplace, they themselves are getting paid to be on social media pushing the narrative. Do I fault them all for this line of work? No. But, I do find the irony in it. 

Now, let’s take a step back for a second. Are there aspects of the things I just mentioned that hold biblical ideas or values—yes. But, is what we see in the “trad wife trend” the holy ideal or highest biblical standard for womanhood/motherhood? I would dare to say, no. 

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What does the Bible really say women ought to be? First, let me remind you that you are a human being made for fellowship with your Creator. Your role as a woman is secondary to that identity. Your identity ought to first be wrapped up in “child of God” before it is “woman of God”. It may seem like a simple distinction but when cultural shifts frequently change how the roles of men and women present themselves in society, it is what ought to ground us.

Let’s evaluate a few main ideas behind the trad wife or homemaker movement that I think deserve re-evaluation. Now, these may not be ideas you have gained from the movement but they are some of the core ideas from my personal perspective. 

1. Traditional ideas of womanhood are biblical ideas of womanhood

Traditional ideas in our day look a lot like the 1940s or 1950s. If this is the biblical model then there would be centuries of Christian women from the past who got it wrong. 

For a long time, families worked together at their craft. The income they created was considered family income and it wasn’t just the head of the household earning the money. (So, maybe the biblical role of the man includes more than just providing money? We’ll get to that in another post because it is an important point.)

Families would not have been as separate back then either. Families would have had their children working with them or doing chores around the family home for a majority of the day. 

This is also subject to change based on the era you choose to evaluate. Something else to consider is socioeconomic situations. 

Let’s take it back even further. In a time like the 1800s, wealthy women had servants. They would have had cooks, maids, groundskeepers, tutors for the children, nannies, tailors, etc. I mean look at Proverbs 31:15 and notice that this “ideal” woman had servants she assigned work to.

I say all this to begin to open our horizons and realize that there is something strange about the short sightedness of our western Christianity. We have forgotten history and neglect to see how biblical principles transcend culture—even to this day in countries around the world. 

1. Wearing dresses is the highest standard of modesty 

There is absolutely nowhere in Scripture that tells us that women must wear dresses or skirts to be modest. Anyone who claims that only dresses are modest can only stand on personal standards and convictions—not a Bible verse. 

Now, is this to say that any and all form of clothing are modest? By no means. I do think we can draw from principles in the Bible regarding adorning ourselves in a way that is not drawing unnecessary attention to ourselves in an effort to boost our pride, gain human affirmations, or stir up lust. This is an argument for more than modest clothing however, but a modest demeanor as well. 

The Spirit reigns supreme in this conversation. He can guide the believer into modesty apparel. This is something that also changes greatly with culture. 

Let’s be honest and remember that at one point seeing a woman’s ankles was scandalous. In today’s culture, a dress that stops above the ankle is on the far side of modesty. At one point in history pants were not even made for women. So, to wear pants was to wear mens clothing, something people have hung onto because of Deuteronomy 22:5. But, today women’s clothing includes a myriad of pant options and, in my opinion, some pant options can be more modest than dresses. 

Even at a Bible college, I saw skirts and dresses that were more revealing than the pants my homeschool friends would wear—just sayin. 

This topic is not as black and white as some may wish. My personal opinion is, judge less and pray more. 

1. Working or having a career is only okay if you can keep up on the house chores 

This is an interesting and rather subtle concept I have found. Interestingly enough, they cannot deny the fact that the Proverbs 31 woman worked outside the home. So, instead they seem to say that it’s fine to work outside the home as long as the inside of the home doesn’t suffer for it. Is there biblical basis for the woman being required to work outside the home and do all the work the inside of the home demands by herself?

If a woman feels capable and desires to do it all, can she? Absolutely. But is outsourcing some responsibilities acceptable even if they are “in the home” type of jobs? Did the Proverbs 31 woman outsource homemaking responsibilities?

Comparison can be dangerous here. We would do well to remember that there are so many factors that play into how much a woman has time for in a day. 

How many kids does she have? What are their ages? What type of job does her husband have? Does she have a good community around her? Is she near any family? How big is her house? Does she have pets? Is her family dependent on her income to survive? How well do her kids sleep or do they have health difficulties? Does she have a traditional 9-5 job? Does she have personal health struggles? Etc. 

This is where it gets messy. Telling the world there is one ideal way to be a wife and mother is not accurate. We are all in such varying situations as women and following some stranger’s advice on the internet may not be wise. And, on the slip side, maybe it is helpful. I just wonder if it’s healthy to try and live up to a standard set by a random woman online rather than a standard set by God Himself. Or beg the woman online for advice rather than seeking wisdom from close mentors in your personal life —not to mention God Himself. 

Let me be vulnerable for a minute. At times, I have watched a homemaker’s video and felt guilt for not being as good at certain house chores. I then would bring the subject up to my husband, apologizing for my short comings. His response would often surprise me. He would point out all the ways in which my situation made that job challenging and how he understood the season we were in and valued my heart to serve the family, trusting that these things would naturally improve with time. 

Wow. What a different perspective from someone who actually knew me and my personal situation. This made me realize that I should be turning more to the Lord for advice on how to spend my time and energy as a woman, wife, and mother so He can instruct my individual situation in each season. He sees me and knows all things. He gives me grace and parents me as a perfect Father. 

I need to be seeking His face on how to be the best homemaker today rather than turning to social media—what a cheap substitute. 

Back to the point. Proverbs 31 shows us a woman that is very busy outside the home in her businesses. She tends to her home as well but one thing that stuck out to me was how she delegated some of her home chores to the servant girls. 

She did serve her home but she didn’t feel the pressure to do all the work herself. Rather, she seems to see herself more as a CEO. She sees the needs and prepares whatever is necessary to care for those within her house and that looked different based the need. 

I do not see any biblical proof against a woman who works, uses a meal service, has a housecleaner, and then, because she has delegated some of her tasks, actually has the time to tend to the hearts of those in her home.

I also do not see biblical proof against a man who helps his wife with household work. If you have a husband like this—praise God for him! What a blessing to have a husband with a servant’s heart who seeks to love his wife in a myriad of ways. I know I can sometimes feel guilty when I see my husband serving around the house but he often tells me “why shouldn’t you be loved this way?” or “why can’t I love on you in this way?”…and wow, what a man! 

Working in the home doesn’t have to mean doing all of the work the home requires. Again, remember history—culture changes. 

Yes, the Bible does tell women to work at home (Titus 2). The word used to describe that idea is “oikourgos” and can be translated “a guard; be ‘ware’” so this concept includes being aware of the needs of your home and those inside of it.

I would dare to say that being a “housekeeper” or “guard of your home” includes so much more than cleaning the bathrooms yourself. 

1. The best thing a woman can do is have a lot of kids 

My guess is that the biblical idea here is based on God’s command to be fruitful and multiply. 

First off, we live in a fallen world. Is the idea “anyone who does not obey that command and have children is out of step with God’s plan for humanity?”

We are not in complete control of our fertility. Some may not be able to have children. Is God’s best something they will never achieve? 

Not to mention, if you look at the command to be fruitful and multiply you may be inclined to ask “how many children is that exactly?” Acting like couples with big families are more obedient to God seems like something that can only be boiled down to personal conviction. 

Just because we can have a baby every year—should we? Are there no other things we ought to consider? Health for mom? Health for baby? Monetary provision for the entire family? Are we completely without responsibility when it comes to reproduction?

Again, we all have so many variables as to the number of children we may have. God must inform this decision—not the internet. 

1. Homeschooling your own children is the ideal

The Lord has designed parents to be in charge of teaching their children. This includes all types of education. 

We discipline them on right and wrong. We teach them about how the world we live in operates. We model living according to God’s law.

However, is there a verse telling us that we have to personally teach our children how to read, write, calculate, etc? Back in the day, women were not even taught these things so they couldn’t have homeschooled their children as we do today. Now, do I think women shouldn’t be educated? Of course not. But, again, I am pointing out the fact that biblical principles have to be able to cross culture and time. 

Is there a passage of Scripture against sending children to a Christian school? Is there a passage of Scripture against sending children to public school? Is there a passage of Scripture against co-ops or having a private tutor like they did in the olden days? 

Again, the Spirit reins. Where explicit Scripture is absent, wisdom has to be present. The Spirit will lead you, as He was intended to do.

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We often get stuck in the weeds of passages such as Proverbs 31. We read the examples laid out in the chapter and decide that the biblical woman must do those exact things to be in step with biblical principles. However, I believe they are meant to be simply that—“principles”—that transcend culture and time and can be applied to any season of life.

There is far more freedom in the Christian walk than most people are comfortable with. But the truth is, the Spirit is meant to be our Shepherd. I am not afraid of people being too free because it didn’t seem to bother Jesus any. He knew we had the Spirit—we had Him. 

I believe it is innate in most women to want to take care of their house but why does taking care of the house have to look like made-from-scratch food, homeschooling, and cleaning bathrooms? Could a woman work, send her kids to school, and have a housecleaner to the glory of God? Let’s ask it this way? What passage of Scripture condemns her for that?

Think of a popular Christian woman who is traveling to speak, doing charity work, maybe going on tour, writing books and producing social media content…can God call women to work that requires them to do less inside the home? Can these women be a biblical wife/mother if they need help to clean their homes since they will be traveling for several days out of the week? Do we doubt the legitimacy of their call or do we possibly have some culturally informed ideas regarding what God demands of a woman?

The current homemaking trends are one way women are doing their best to live out the principles laid out in these passages of Scripture. But, are they the only way? Absolutely not. 

There is a danger in taking your womanhood advice and identity from social media influencers. There may be pressure you are feeling that God Himself never gave you. Let the Spirit be the authority and not the woman you admire. 

They keep their home for the glory of God and you keep yours for the glory of God. We each answer to Him alone for what that looks like exactly. 

Biblical principles have guided womanhood for decades past and will guide women for decades to come—culture aside. So, as in all things, let the Spirit do His job and lead you into Truth—ask Him before asking Meta.